November 19, 2005
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My morning wood, scored me an A+ in class!
Before I start this entry, let me explain to you what a morning wood is. If you're a guy then no need for further explanation, sit back relax, have a staring contest with your morning wood then proceed to read the rest of the entry. For the ladys: Guys get erection in their sleep so they wont piss on themself, its one of the body's natural instincts. It makes it harder for them to piss on themself in their sleep.
Hey you! yes you! Stop hiding behind your fellow classmate, when your teacher picks someone to work out the problem on the chalkboard. Theres no need to hide and try to become invisible, hopeing your teacher wont see you. Only the famous magician Houdini, can pull this one off. Teachers only pick the kids, who sleeps and hides in class. And allow the nerds their once in a lifetime chance, to make fun of the jocks looking like a fool in front of the board.
If you're a snoozer in class, you came to the right place. Right before class, drink a gallon of water, pop a few sleeping pills. Then wait for your teacher to call on you. Jump up vibrantly and greet the class, and walk up to the chalkboard. Knocking out your classmates one by one, with your deadly morning wood. Your teacher will be so shocked, he/she wont ever call you to the board ever again. So the next time your'e fellow nerds, show off their "A+" on there report card. Just tell them, I got an A+ too, thanks to Richyard's morning wood technique, then dickslap them with your woody.
Oh no its godzilla deadly snake, run japan! run!Disclaimer: This entry sole purpose is for entertainment, please dont go around popping morning wood. If this method doesnt work, then aim your wang at the teacher and start squirting away, with a morning wood, the water pressure will be deadly.
Comments (123)
haha, nice trick :]
Haha, sounds like somethign you would do!!! Loser!
im going to do that shit during class lol
thanks richyard
ha
do it in Almandarez's class! that would be freakin hilarious!
This had better work.I'll try to pull it off in English class
richyard!!!! remember to bring pirates of the carribean and that program!!!!
Ah, that's kinda gross =X
But... if you jack the car, jack ANOTHER 330i =oP Just not mine.. i'm cool
Hahahaha, clever x]
Hahaha, that's funny.
hey is that a current pic of you ? you seem so muchh older.
Yeah man, that's definitely true. I don't think that I've ever peed in my pants before...and it's all because of morning wood!
Teachers don't always pick on the kids who sleep in class. Sometimes they pick the brightest kids, knowing that the other kids are just going to stall and take up class time.
Yeah, definitely don't pop a morning wood in class. Especially when you're presenting something in front of the class. I actually witnessed this myself during my freshman year. Pretty embarassing for the guy...
Have an awesome week!
hmm.... that's interesting. So you sleep on purpose, and when the teacher calls you up to do the problem, you get up and destroy it? very interesting..
most teachers here don't really care about sleeping or not. our unspoken rule: students can do anything they want, but they'll have to take the consequences without complaint
-Ko
for the ladies, r u gonna post the xxx version?
Haha morning wood
-Cuong
lol wow. you!? haha.. yeah now i dont feel so lonely anymore since liek all the other asains get liek A+'s in math. lol
Huong
hahah
Another entry, another laugh.
WIN!
hahah
laffing my ass off ... so fucking true ... i hate morning wood .. well maybe not now after your blog
ROFL xD
mmmmHmmmm.............INTERESTING
-NAM
lol, ever tried to pee "with" morning wood? Messy
HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA
i get morning wood all the time..
hahahhahha, aw man thats hilarious.
Ah, Richyard, you are the best.
Wow. Peeing with morning wood.
My teacher had a boner in class and he needed to relieve it in the quickest way possible. So he left and returned to the math class with a stain on his shirt.
or u could just fake it n hold wood status, while pretending to sleep.
make sure to knock the teacher's mug over. then it'll be a bedtime classic
hey hey richyard.....w`sup ? nm here...me and you are talking about stuff rihgt now.....and yah..ahah how u been? well maybe u should change ur layout..idk...it looks fine to me.! eheh well t2ul.
love
annie
oh and congrats on A+ hehe
Nice entry, so guys get an erection in their sleep, nice. My next profile pic will probably will be the Viagra logo.
HAHAHA a morning wood! Looks like i'm rubbing off on you!
LOL how is this entry suppose to help me?! I don't get morning woods! But if i did..........ehehehehehe.......i would do exactly that! And knock classmates out one by one!
But what happens to morning woods from naughty dreams! Is there a different techinque used for that? Instead of morning woods from having to go pee really bad while you're sleeping????
You let me know....
~much luv kelly~
I'm gonna try it out Monday.
I thought people talked more of Naruto than Bleach -_-;
Always a pleasure...
-"Bastard Bubbles"
CaKaLusa pwnage.
lucky forty -.- wow wouldn't it be scary if one of your girl classmates got a morning wood. GROSS! lol AHAAH
You learn something new every day. Before today, now....I never heard it used before.
And seeing the small sample of comments on the first page........heh. It's great to know.
Sleeping is healthy. I want to sleepy.
A nice spin on bodily functions. =D
You're a junior I assume?
Hey.
Screw off.
why would you EVER talk about morning wood?
Sheesh!LOLz
hey dude,
I kinda try to make my site like yours in a sort of maddox-thilo style, but my photoshop skills seriously suck ass. I'm a junior, assuming you are too, so yeah we must probably talk about the same shet lol. Anyway, your entry was pretty funny, come check out my site, leave a message, then get the fuck out betch ---
I had no idea of this term before, until now. I knew the basic physiological response to males during sleep, however. I took anatomy/physiology for two years straight for my pharmacy major. Been in college for 7 long years. I need to learn more slang terms.
Have a good rest of the weekend!!
too bad im out of high school.
kenny
Hahah I use to do that too, hide behind the my friends or pretend I was preoccupied, and it worked. Until my teacher made an index card of our names and shuffled it and randomly picked us. O_o smart turd hehe. Anyways, nice to know men " pee" on themselves in the morning, thats why we love ya, hard cold truth to us clueless women. And what the hell in on the chalkboard? Math and me do NOT MIX! Take care and great post!
haha eww i didnt really need to kno that but that is funny xP
jenny
Hahahahaha... goodness!
.
my wood is an oak tree..
also, i can grow my wood anytime i wish...comes with experience
perhaps i'll pass down my legendary skills and sagely knowledge to you.. i always need a successor...
hahah you realize you did go watch hairy pothead. =)
richard have you tried your own technique? -_-
Ryc- I live in Chicago. $2 is actually not bad; some theaters in the downtown area charge by an hourly rate at $6 per hour. I try to find theaters that don't charge for parking for the most part, but it's hard a lot of the times.
Gas is actually anywhere from $2.80 to well over $3, close to $4 a gallon here. I've complained about how expensive it is to live where I am before, believe me. =/
Where do you live for gas to be less than $3??
ahah so fucken harlious
dang...i'm going to do it!
i started doing that in 2nd grade.
haha what the fuck.
that's so random
wow. i wish my morning wood scored me an A+!
maybe that explains my C's.
lmfaoo verry nice...;p
but it seems like a health code violation..
haha lol come everbody and sighn my guestbook
I'm scared to try it. I don't wanna get bitch-slap then spend an evening with my teacher(s).
haha your hilarous richyard..I actually read somethin interesting..haha
Dd
So earlier than expected this morning, I woke up with a massive, throbbing, morning wood, and of course, had to pee badly, and as much as I wanted to stay in bed, all I could think of was "Richyard, Richyard, Richyard. Yeah, he warned me this would happen, but i didn't know it would happen so soon."
my wood never leaves me.. it stays for breakfast, lunch and dinner!
wat the fuck? that wuz funny tho.i dont wanna know whether itz true or not.....^.^
I never get out of bed when my mom is screaming at me to wake up 'cause I dont want to whack her.
u didn't leave tips for the ladies. i wonder if they go through anything like this?
oh they get pms but that's only every other week
random propz
lol, so random. I love it.
O.o..i unno , someone who landed on your page and decided to comment your xanga -_-.......
hahha
i was browsing on xangas n seen urs
haha
nice
yeah that was kinda.... disturbing....
Hey u dont know me and i dont know u!!!...hahaha
Lol, it's really not fair that the girls can't recieve morning woods. I definitely need some A's in my classes. haha
morning wood sucks when you have to go pee.
wow thatz amazein not bye
Pika Props* Hi! Saw you stopped by =))
drop it like it's hott!
Interesting...
random props ! oh man that was funny
fucking so lame dude how old are you
lol chinesemonster maybe your older but im sure you got a smaller dick - your morning wood must be like a half-a toothpick
300th entry is up and running! I’ll be back to comment properly when I’ve finished moving house!
Thanks!
haha nice entry.
How are you doing today.
haha...rich..you are so wrong...lol. i bet we have you guys beat in that department though..its called periods...lol. as fopr using it so a teacher wont call on you...i suggest saying that you ran out of pads or tammies and use that as an excues to run to the nearest bathroom or snack machine to get some chocolate. by the time you get back someone else would have done your work at the bored. using the period excuse got me out of a ticket once^_^
saw you drop by my site.
Can't believe I'm not on that list of elites
its the other thought that counts eh?...morning wood...gotta take a thought to that! maybe not...
Alright, as long as you acknowledge that you went to far, I'm fine with it. If you haven't already, it'd be nice if you apologized. You seem like an alright guy, so I'll subscribe to your site. Subscribe to mine if ya want.
Troy
dude richyard...when do u think kevin will be back on xanga? hrms...it sucks...
- annie
Like I said in class, that's hilarious!! XD
sicko :p haha that was hilarious, are you on premo?
dude, how do you get so many comments? cuz i need some exposure for my shet...
LOL unfortunately I cannot pull this morning wood technique of yours.. if I could it wouldnt be good ;]
You said Pull this one off, hehe
Ahem, yes I like your suggestion there, I must remember this for our next board meeting.
I think I'll just take the "F" for class participation.
These are the times i wish i had a penis............................................................
.........*wishing*................................................... damn nothing happened..
I guess i will just have to get over it ...
cya
somehow... i don't think this works as planned.
ahaha
RYC: Are the highways bad right now?
i saw morning wood and i stopped reading
I'm sure your wood is breathtaking...
And thanks for checking out my 300th entry – but it’s not over yet! I just updated with part 2 of the entry edited in! Feel free to come and check it out!
its good to be a guy
awww, my eyes, they burn!
u kiddin me?! we put like 3 bags of stuffing in there!
but, i know u can do it anyway xP
At least you know that it works!
ooo..chino!!..lol..wat it do man..haha..didnt recognize that peekture
can that wood carve a turkey?
hey dude, back from my vacay, thanks : )
LOL! funny post, man! all hail the glorious morning wood!!!
holy crap man. you're popular. haha. happy thanksgiving.
hahahahaha... u nerd
hiIiIi uuu
damnit, i don't even need to drink water or sleep...it just pops up (no pun intended)...unexpectedly at the worst of times.
ryc: I'm not Keni's brother, I am just a look-a-
like
whoa, guys really DO do that?
dude how old are you?
new xanga
next time you come by, make sure to
COMMENT!!!~!!!
NUNCHUCKS PART 2 ALREADY U SHIT
your writing is too mature for your age, nice works
What a great price for that PC. Do they still have it for sale for that amount? What kind did you get?
your crazy well thought out entrees and nice choice of pictures...
maybe thats why you get 100+ comments everytime while ive only gotten it once @_@
bastard..D:
YOUR A FLAMING HOMOSEXUAL YOUR RETARDED ASIAN YOU ALL LOOK ALIKE ALL 6 BILLION OF YOU GET THE HELL OUT OF XANGA YOU PIECE OF CRAP.......love just go to bed