The new era of crunk attack
I was sitting at the cross intersection, in the middle of the night waiting for the traffic lights to turn green. No cars in front of me, No Hobos to the left asking for change, and No hookers on the corner offering a quickie service for the small price of 2 eprops.
Suddenly out of the blue, a Cadillac pulls up right next to me in the right lane in the empty deserted street. Swiveling my head to the right, I witness 5 black brothers claiming they're from the G-UNIT African tribe in their cadillac. But oh boy, Tonight wasn't any normal everyday routine stopping at the lights, these boys were untamed and out of control. Hands and arm flying around in the backseats, hips and elbow bumping into other passengers, and 5 greasy head bobbling in a 360 degree motion. Investigating further in this zoo-like behavior, I found out they were listening to "lose control" by Misty Elliot.
Imagine 5 guys in a car, getting crazy like Rick James in a Cadillac
Bam! that explains everything, it must be a new trend in hip hop culture to act like this while cruising. People's behavior in their cars are triggered in different ways depending on the music they listen to. For example teeny boppers / fags motion their hands while listening to backstreetboys, or religious Christians trying to reach the sky listening to "the amazing grace". What if i was to get out my car, and walk inside the cadillac and turn off the sound system? would everyone pause and freeze in midair until the music starts again?, or would they continue getting crunk(drunk+crazy) not realizing i just turned off their source of energy.
Since 90 percent of xanga consist of Asians and Emos. I'll do yall both a favor and show yall how to be cool and trendy in your transportation. Trust me, you'll be the coolest one in the group.
Since the viets are the only asian country without their own unique martial art style. I think im gonna be brave enough to use them as an example incase anything goes wrong. Crank up yalls viet banjo and get wild because you have the baddest and slickest ride in town. The new 5 door (includings the donkeys ass) Honda mammal. Get rowdy and throw your bowl of pho noodle soup in the air. But watch out, dont get nuoc-mam(viet sauce) in your eyes, otherwise you'll be the lamest dude on the rice farm. Be even more cool and spin your pyramid-shaped bamboo hat while going through the phase of crunk attack! Phoshizzle, yall viets are officially the dizzle.
I smell the faggish wet tears, in the air. Yeap, yall Emo boys are next. No need to cry, cry, cry and cry because the viets and blacks are getting the fame and glory in their cars. You guys can be cool too driving in the passengers seat with your mother, since you guys are emotionally unstable and wont function correctly on the road. Just bring along your favorite safety scissors and "chemical romance" Cd. You guys listen to faggish music, hoping girls will feel sorry for you. But theres a new approach getting them to like you, after i show you this new trend. Pull out your safety scissors and imagine your favorite band splitting apart, then do what you do best and slit your wrist. Try this new approach and get crunk and slit your wrist violently. Moving your tight girl pants up and down, then wet your eyes and let the eyeliner run down your cheeks. You'll be so uber cool, but remember use safety scissors because im not liable for any injury, and close the window because you just might fall out of your mother's soccer van. Remember to keep your coolness on the down low, because your homosexual boyfriend might get jealous and break up with you. And you'll start all over again and cry,cry, cry.
"But mommy, Richyard says its cool to get crunk in the car when you take me to Pre-K"
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