I should have locked myself in the janitors closet for valentines day. Being adventurous, I decided to patrol the shopping center instead, and purchase all the valentines goody for myself one store at a time. I'm such a genius i proclaimed to myself. Once i leave the store i'll buy every card, chocolate and flowers the store have in stock. Leaving the non-single folks with nothing, but dried cactus for their valentine sweetheart. I was the grinch of all valentines, and imagined thousands of relationship going downhill because one of the person in the relationship bought the other a dozen of poison ivy because it was the only thing close to a rose available in the store.

I stopped by walgreens to pick up a pack of wrigleys gum. Leaving the store, i left a quarter on the cashiers table and walked out. Excuse me sir, she yelped at me to come back to the cash register. Before she scanned my gum, she asked for my phone number and i was willing to give it out in a confident voice. Your total is 30 cents, at this point i was really confused. Wrigleys gum were always a quarter since the dinosaurs age, i struggled to find a nickel in my pocket to conclude my purchase. Walking out the door, i was screaming el senorita in my head. A hot Latino girl at the register just asked for my number at the register. I must be the sexiest guy that ever took a step in walgreens.

My next destination was the shopping mall. Walking through the mall, i see tons of hallmark advertisement saying you should get your lover this and that. I couldn't take seeing it anymore, and planned to mess with the security guard so i would get pepper-sprayed in the eye which would solve my problem of  seeing the stupid ads. Although this would only solve my problem temporarily, once I wash the spices out of my eye, I would see the horrible ads again. I made my next purchase at Sams goody, and bought several dvds to keep me company for the rest of the night. Before the blonde chick scanned my dvds at the register she asked for my phone number, before she rang up my purchase. Maybe we could catch a movie sometimes, i told her in a casual silly tone. At this point, i've felt as if i discovered the cure for aids. Regretting not bringing the cell phone to call up 50 of my closest buddy and tell them the secret of valentines day, that all the cashiers on valentines day are trying to score a date with the customers.

It was getting dark and cold outside. I made my last purchase at the department store to buy my mom a bottle of perfume for the holiday. This time it was an old lady in her 60's at the register. May i please have your phone number she asks before she rings up my purchase. My heart literally skips a few beat, with my jaw dropping to floor. I asked her why she needs my phone number in a nervous tones. "We at dillards department store, collect phone numbers for the sole purpose of sending our customers catalog and sales special in the mail", she responds. I gave her my phone number in a depressed voice, as she punches it in the cash register. I felt as if i received a million boxes of chocolate that night, only to find that it has been melted.