I received the strangest phone call last night. I stared at my pillow half dazed and confused, wondering who would call me at such an odd hour. It was the Chinese mafia on the other line. They had a job proposal for me all across the other side of the world. I was informed that I was under surveillence through one of the chicks at school, working as a spy, for the past 12 months, through school and my weblog. They mentioned about my boxing entry and mugging post and was fond of my ingenious and strength. I was certified to be the next hardcore member for a week, training the apprentice, the art of fighting off malicious and violent mobs of cops that keep bustin the mafias wise plan. My jaws litterally dropped with ease, when they told me, I was to train with lucy liu and Zhang Ziu. And as a reward I would reside with one them for 2 whole weeks. Score! This didnt come too clear to me all at once, but It surely was an offer I couldnt refuse.

View discretion advised: It was all a dream. I woke up with a big smile which sprinted into a frown after I realized it was all a nightime fantasy.

According to the plane tickets sitting on the table, im headed off to china today for a family trip, be back in 21 days. I'll be sure to bear everyone a little something something when I get back. For my fellow xangers. I'll bring you guys back a entertaing story. Otherwise I'll hand you my douchielicious Men's Journal magazine<---(click if you havent read this entry). I'll try my best to withdraw to a internet cafe once im there to respond to comments.

I Out-Witted my Muggers

I was walking to the local supermarket picking up some magazines, rubbing alcohol, and a few batches of batterys before the family packed up for vacation. Everything went well going there, the cashier even winked at me. As you know, I always carry a form of weapon everytime I’m walking alone in the street, either if it was going next door to borrow sugar, or running across town. I always had a weapon with me, but this time going to the market, I had my bb-gun with me. On my way back home after picking up my needs, I encountered this group of black kids that confronted me. They all walked up slowly and circled me, and said "What you got in the bag, you lil chink". I thought to myself, hmmm shouldn't you guys be watchin BET or rollin dice at a time like this. I acted as if I didn’t care, and shrugged. They grabbed my grocery bag which contained the cell phone in it and searched through it. I was outnumbered 4 to 1 and didnt know what to do. So I did the unexpected and pulled out my bb gun and shoved it in my mouth. I muttered with the gun in my mouth, I came out tonight to kill myself and I wouldn’t mind taking out one of you guys before ending it all. My face expression was so blanked yet filled with sorrow, yet that they fell for it. They gave me back my stuff and quickly apologized and even offered me a ride home. They all whispered to each other, we chose the wrong kid to mugg tonight and shifted the blame upon another. They left me alone and I continued walking home. They didn’t just back off, they backed off and felt sorry for me. I chose the wrong weapon this time, the perfect weapon for this sceanario would have been my nunchucks. I would have K.Oed them in a matter of minutes, and end there mugging careers to a screeching halt.

So my fellow muggers: Yall got punk`d
 
Edit: Yes this really did happened, Yesterday to be precise. 
No thats not a gang sign, im not
affiliated with any gang.

As a kid, Me , Binh, and Ali all grew up in the same neighborhood. We were always expected to win and be the best at everything. We never declined a challenge, nor did we ever lose a single game, contest, and especially fights. Everyday before we go to school, our parents would tell us, Hey "I hope you knockout those kids, that keeps on making fun of your wanna-be ninja turtle lifestyle". So we took their wonderful advice, like any other youngings would take from their parents. One day Richard brought nun-chucks to his kindergarten class, and threatened his teacher to give him straight A+ or else he would bash her with it. Since it is very un-asian to make a A-minus. He had to live up to this Asian making straight A+ and being the best at everything stereotype, regardless of the obstacles that comes his way, and even if it takes threatening the teacher. Unfortunaty this bad threatening habits carried on through his sophmore year of highschool, and it keeps on getting dirtier. Today the course of history has finally twisted and changed his fate,Jino whooped him in boxing and he was devasted. So he punctured him with his deadly bruce lee ass kicking nunchucks.

As the year past, they all finally become upper-classmen graduate in highschool. Ali decides he wants to join his mexican cult and betray his 2 beloved Asians. Binh and Richard becomes ferocious and start's to attack him.

As timed pass all 3 of the boys remained rivalrys upon another. Ali became a full time referee, reffing Binh's and Richard'd conflict. He also became a personal coach, telling both of them the right stance, and proper workout technique in order to conquer one another. He would repeatedly point out faults in one another, so they can correct their posture and later become ongoing pro's. Five years passed, and they settled their internal conflict through a game of battleshit.

The End. Leave a Comment